Parenthood and the Desire to Have a Baby

Beware! The following thoughts may appear rigorous and radical; they may even shock a person at the first reading, but they are really neither extreme nor misanthropic. They have absolutely nothing in common with confused, delusional, fanatical and hostile thoughts and demands by extremists of all sorts of political or religious views. Quite in contrast with them my thought-provoking impulses and guidelines are equally valid for all people on Earth (including me!). All my proposed ideas, etc., are valid for everybody, and there may not be any reservation regarding race, nationality, body size, colour of hair, bank account, title, etc. It must be guaranteed that not only the intelligentsia may be permitted to produce offspring, because so-called intelligent people are not proof at all against stupidity as is proven again and again by many politicians, professors, journalists, sociologists, theologists, philosophers, scientists and managers, etc., who, in their narrow-mindedness, short-sightedness and arrogance overestimate their own capacities.

More and more, responsible people ask themselves – confronted with immense population growth, environmental pollution, and maltreatment of life forms of all kinds – if it's wise to beget a child and bear it into this world of egoism, where growth of the gross national product, hedonism, wealth and controlling other people are the highest goals. A reasonable question, indeed, if we look at the huge misery under which children and adults have to suffer (not in the developing world alone, but also in industrialized countries). How much misery could be avoided if the people on Earth would let themselves be guided by reason and understanding instead of by false emotions, confusing religious ideas of delusion and uncontrolled sexual urges!

If we look at every country on this Earth with a neutral view we cannot avoid the sad conclusion: Many many children shouldn't have been begotten by their parents! Many fathers and mothers have absolutely no knowledge, and are overloaded and incapable, regarding a good and responsible parenthood and the connected educative and caring tasks and duties. Out of parental incapability, immaturity, egoism and other ills legions of children grow up as exact copies of their parents, with only a very small chance to break out of this vicious circle of poverty and misery. Damaged by hunger (mental), maltreatment (psychic and bodily) and neglect (criminal) the children doze through a life without any future perspective, without being aware of the meaning of life, and without having experienced real love. Like thoughtless robots those persons wander through a life of TV consummation and loiter about, babble aimlessly and repeat slogans – or they have to fight constantly for naked survival where the law of the strongest rules and where ethics and sympathy have no place. As a result of false thoughts and a false humanitarianism, the calling into question of a supposed "human right for parenthood" is vehemently opposed – because such persons could come to the troublesome and unthinkable conclusion to be among those who should have no children.

Peoples, governments and every single person by all means have to change their thought processes, and the procreating of children should be coupled with certain qualifications. The parents' thoughtlessness, egoism and lack of discipline shall not have first priority, but the welfare of the child to be begotten! Absolute priority must be granted to the child's right of being born with a healthy body, healthy psyche and healthy consciousness! Additionally, a child has an absolute claim of parents (= a father and a mother!) capable of guaranteeing secured material conditions and capable of providing a loving and neutral education/raising. As a result parents-to-be should have to attend some form of education or instruction before they beget a child, in order to be prepared for this very ambitious but wonderful task.

Since most worldwide birthrate check measures will probably not be started in the near future, unfortunately, it is up to every responsible person and couple to bear his or her own responsibility. With logical and reasonable thinking, one's own actions should have to be brought into harmony with the natural laws, as the only way to guarantee the survival of all life forms on this planet.

The following list of questions shall help any parents-to-be to become aware of the fact that parenthood isn't as simple as it seems: To beget a child needs some seconds or minutes – but childhood and youth last a bit longer!

Before begetting (or fostering/adopting) a child, a reasonable and responsible person has to ask him- or herself the following questions:

Will our union last for at least 3 years -- are we living together for at least 3 years? 

Am I, the woman, at least 28 years of age; and I, the man, at least 33 years (see worldwide birthrate check measures by FIGU)?

Have I found my real partner, and am I prepared to live with him or her for the whole rest of my life? Do I know the difference between amour (= transitory illusion) and real love (real love is indestructible)? 

Do we respect each other as not identical but of equal value? 

Why do we want to "have" a child?

If we have children: Will it be less than 3?

Are we capable of guaranteeing our future child a protected/safe and good education that encourages responsibility (even beyond babyhood)?

How are our short- and medium-term perspectives? Is there a good chance of enough financial and material means (dwelling, saving accounts, income, food, etc.) for the whole family? (Of course there must be some difference here regarding the culture/civilization of a people the parents-to-be belong to. Parenthood in the jungle requires a different standard than living in a western nation.)

Do we live in our own household (= our own private sphere), without any interference from parents or relatives?

Are we aware of the fact that the presence of a child will change our actual life style considerably? (Certain ventures aren't possible any more for years – or never again –, e.g. dangerous hobbies, etc.)

Am I free from any hereditary disease, e.g. chorea, haemophilia, cystic fibrosis, etc.?

Am I free from addiction to illegal or prescribed drugs, alcohol etc., or has a time of 7 years elapsed since the last intake of the stuff I was addicted to?

Am I a non-smoker or have I stopped smoking at least 18 months ago?

Am I free from infectious disease, such as e.g. AIDS, syphilis, tuberculosis, etc.?

Am I in good health regarding my psyche and consciousness (no schizophrenia, depression, etc.)?

Am I free from mental handicap (mental deficiency, Down's syndrome, autism, etc.)?

Is inbreeding absent in my genealogical tree (the last 7 generations back)?

Do I lead a decent life style, which means:

I am no member of organizations or groups who confirm or show the following degenerations: fanatism, extremism, sectarianism, anarchism, terrorism, crime, racial hatred, slavery, restriction of one's free thinking and one's free will, hate, warfare, torture, etc.; not to prostitute myself; execute no criminal acts against Earth, human beings, animals and plants.

Am I (the woman) ready to undergo prenatal diagnosis? How will I decide if the test shows that the foetus has some defect? Will I consent to an abortion? If no: What about the future of the child, and our future? If yes: How grave must the defect be in order to make the decision for an abortion?

Do I accept a child regardless if it's a boy or a girl?

Do I eat healthy and balanced meals (which include meat and dairy products in reasonable amounts!) in order to supply the growing baby with all essential nutrients?

Who will look after the child at home during its childhood and youth? (Despite the outcry of some women's lib-ers or other misguided people, the mother is the "natural" person to look after the child.)

Do I care for cleanliness of body and psyche and dwelling?

Do I refrain from letting any animals (especially cats, dogs, birds, etc.) live in my dwelling? (This on one hand will prevent a broad variety of possible diseases and accidents, and on the other hand proves respect to the animal. An animal is and remains an animal despite the efforts of people to look upon their pets as persons. To let animals live in the same rooms as people is a form of maltreatment of animals. Millions of people suffer from severe diseases or have even died because they have or had too close contact with animals.)

In order to take up again the question from the start of this text: The procreation of a child may be recommended in good conscience as a responsible and reasonable act if all of the questions above have been answered positively.

The harsh truth must not be swept under the carpet: Every single person, in control of his or her senses and with a clear-headed consciousness who, before procreating a child, refuses to ponder or answer the many questions in this text, may not called a human being; he or she must be labelled a thoughtless and irresponsible egoist and criminal sex robot. Such a person is an insult to reason and common sense and brings shame to all of mankind.

Christian Frehner

This is an excerpt from FIGU's overpopulation booklet #13